You’ve got to give it up for the Spaniards… unless they’re bankers.


Camping in Zuccotti Park?  Bank Transfer Day?  Occupy protesting evictions… singing in courtrooms to disrupt trustee sales… lawsuits heaped upon lawsuits… yawn.


What has happened to us?  We used to be creative in our protests.  We dressed up as Native Americans and dumped tea in Boston Harbor, for heaven’s sake.  What about the 1960s?  We stopped the war, if you recall.  And we were the grooviest!  Our history is jam packed with interesting protestors.  Rosa Parks.  Dr. King.  Abby Hoffman.  The Bonus Army?


We even burned our girlfriends’ bras for a while… that was fun to watch.



But, the international news out today has understandably left many Americans feeling… well, inadequate isn’t quite the word I’m looking for… impotent, maybe?  Flaccid, perhaps?


You see, in Spain… as you may have heard… unemployment is north of 22 percent, there are mucho foreclosures, and the Spanish bankers have been getting the heat for it.  Now, it seems they’ll be staying hot, unless they take matters into their own hands.


Spain’s high-class escorts have announced that they will not be offering their services to the country’s bankers until they start fulfilling their responsibilities to their society.  “Today, life in Spain really sucks,” one of the girls said.  “So, we don’t have to.”


According to RT… a news agency that I now hope to work for one day…


“The largest trade association for luxury escorts in the Spanish capital has gone on a general and indefinite strike on sexual services for bankers until they go back to providing credits to Spanish families, small- and medium-size enterprises and companies.”


The escorts are telling bankers that until they start closing more loans, they won’t be opening their… services… or accommodating any members of the financial services industry.  A spokeswoman for the trade association praised the strike’s success by stressing that the government and the Bank of Spain have allowed the flow of credit to run dry.


The spokeswoman told RT… “We are the only ones with a real ability to put pressure the sector, or take pressure off.  We have been on strike for three days now and we don’t think they can withstand much more.”


She also said that reports of bankers pretending to be deadbeat homeowners and bankrupt real estate developers in order to enter an escort’s place of business are pitiful.  “Who else but a banker can afford the 300 euro an hour?”  As soon as they pull out the cash the girls yell, “Métetelo por el culo!” As they laugh and walk away.


Picket signs seen in downtown Madrid read:


“Don’t come here too soon.  No Loans, No Moans.”


The bankers reportedly have become so desperate that they’ve tried to call on the government to mediate hoping the Escort Union would agree to a modification of their demands, but calls to officials were all placed on hold for over an hour before being disconnected inexplicably., the site that initially published the story, said the bankers continued to use political clout to lobby the government to stop the strike, but apparently Spain’s Minister of Economy and Competitiveness responded by explaining that just like los swaps de incumplimiento crediticio, the government does not sufficiently regulate the escort industry and since neither trades on an exchange, they could not intercede.


“Escorts are choosing not to exercise their, um… I mean, they are making use of their right to deny admission or entry to… er… well, you know.  So, it’s a very hard problem… oh dear, I mean… no one can negotiate,” the minister was quoted as saying as he blushed and hurried from the podium.


Clearly, today’s news from Spain shows that when it comes to protesting, Americans have lost some of our creativity and are simply not up for it as often as we once were.  Frankly, many have expressed  concern about our staying power as well.


One bright spot, however, is that we are starting to see more whistle-blowers coming out of U.S. banks, so perhaps it’s the jobs of the blowers that will get us excited about protesting again… and again.


Mandelmano echar.



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