Nina Easton’s HOT Stocks for Homeowners Losing Homes
(Only in America… Nina Easton. More on that in a moment.)
The New York Post is reporting that a new gold rush is sweeping the country and it’s all about… are you ready for this… “people looking to get fat off of the $4 billion home foreclosure industry”.
Apparently, in the last two years four companies have either gone public or are about to go public, and each is looking to raise the cash they need to become a “national powerhouse” in the business of providing “streamlined and low-cost methods” for kicking people out of their homes.
According to the Post, “there are currently 6 million homeowners 60 days or more delinquent on their mortgage,” which makes these companies very attractive to investors.
These companies, DJSP Enterprises, whose revenues have increased by 31% over the last year, Altisource Portfolio Solutions, with its 182 percent increase in profits last year, and of course, Lender Processing Services, a company with $2.4 billion in revenue up 29 percent last year — all offer technology linking lenders with law firms in order to reduce the cost and streamline the process of foreclosing on homes and evicting their ex-owners.
Oh, and let’s not forget Prommis Solutions, which turned a $7.9 million profit in 2009 and has filed to go public.
Now, Lender Processing Services is the parent company of DocX, a company that one of the companies under investigation by the Florida Attorney General’s office for being in the business of creating fraudulent documents used in foreclosure proceedings when the servicer doesn’t have any paperwork showing that the trust actually holds the mortgage.
But, LPS doesn’t seem terribly concerned about that investigation, or any of the others that threaten to expose this company for wrongdoing. They say it’s all just a mix-up… funny story, that sort of thing. Here’s the company’s CEO on May 20th:
LPS’ CEO Jeffrey Carbiener said “our earnings are quality earnings. They translate into cash flow. LPS generated $349 million in cash last year.”
LPS provides all levels of mortgage default services services for when a loan goes bad. “Because we have a strong business model, we’re able to weather economic challenges,” Carbiener said. LPS’s growth is continuing into 2010, with first-quarter revenue up 11.8 percent and adjusted earnings up 26.5 percent.
“We’ve had good success and we expect that success to continue into the future,” Carbiener said.
These types of companies get fees from the lenders on each property, and from the law firms that file the foreclosure actions. So, their prospectuses warn investors:
“A turnaround in the housing market or additional mortgage-modification plans from Washington may negatively impact our profits.”
Well, there’s not much to worry about in either of those regards, at this point anyway. But, I suppose there is always the risk that there could be an outbreak of competence in Washington. Still… I’d probably go long at this point.
As long as our economy continues to sink into an abyss, any of these companies is poised to become the next Microsoft, but God forbid our elected representatives actually figure something out and we start to see stabilization in the housing market, leading to a real recovery, well… better sell these stocks short and fast, ‘cause the better things get the worse they’ll do.
The whole thing got me to thinking… this must be awfully confusing to John Paulsen and the guys at Goldman. They want to short the housing market in every possible way, but to do that in this case, they have to go long. I’ll bet some traders have become dizzy and maybe even passed out just thinking about that.
A Goldman Trader: “What do I do again? I need 3.5 million shares short… no, long… no, short… no, damnit!”
So, if you’re a homeowner at risk of losing your home to foreclosure, or even if you’re not looking at foreclosure, but just can’t stand the thought of watching another hundred grand in equity go up in smoke, I have some important investment advice for 2010 and 2011 that you’ll want to hear.
Why not consider strategically defaulting on your underwater mortgage in order to start dollar cost averaging into this brand new and exciting offering:
Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund
To learn more about Nina’s role in the foreclosure crisis, click where her name appears in orange above.
The fund’s objective is to acquire significant positions in bonds issued by growth companies that are positioned to capitalize on the emerging and exciting multi-billion dollar foreclosure industry. The fund’s investment strategy focuses on:
- Technologies that enable faster, high-quality document forgeries.
- Property preservation companies that throw people out first time, every time.
- Title insurance companies that don’t care who owns the property.
- Lock-Box and REO-FOR-SALE sign manufacturers.
- Home auction companies.
- Firms that lobby on behalf of the banking industry.
- And, of course, the makers of Xanax and Ativan.
People, this is a once in a lifetime investment opportunity to place a bet on our growing foreclosure industry, supported by the total and ongoing incompetence of our government! And that’s not all…
In order to hedge your position in Nina’s Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund, or for those of you who think the administration and other branches government may at some point actually start getting something right, I’m also working on getting the Obama Administration to agree to be a counterparty in credit default swaps related to certificate holders in Nina Easton’s Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund.
Nothing is definite at this point, but I think it’s important that dumb money be able to short our multi-billion dollar foreclosure industry, so for those that think the foreclosure crisis will be ending soon, stand by because my soon to be available Obama Competence Credit Default Swaps should be available soon. That’s right, you can sell the foreclosure industry short when you invest in Obama Competence Credit Default Swaps.
Plenty of Upside Remaining…
Some have said…
“But Nina… we’ve already lost 7 million homes to foreclosure. Haven’t I already missed out on my chance to profit from this exciting opportunity?”
No, no… silly human… there’s plenty of upside remaining in the foreclosure market. Housing prices are still in a free fall, foreclosures are still coming in at over 300,000 a month, and we’re on the fifteenth straight month at those levels.
There are 6 million people more than 60 days delinquent on their mortgages right now, and Goldman Sachs forecasts 14 million more foreclosures in the next five years! And don’t forget… the good news is that the ALT-A and Option ARM loans that haven’t even started adjusting yet!
Unemployment? Fuggetaboutit! I mean, no one is even trying to fix that anymore! We’ve got more people unemployed for more than 30 weeks than since before I was born, and at this point our only strategy is to report made up numbers generated by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. I think it’s pretty safe to say that it’s all downhill from here!
So, worry not. It’s not at all too late for you to get involved and make your fortune in the fast-paced and exciting foreclosure industry, because there’s plenty of upside left in the American foreclosure market. Let’s see the Chinese beat us at this! No chance… they won’t even try.
And the people trying to stop this foreclosure thing… please. Here’s what Nina Easton wrote in her blog about a demonstration near her home:
Now this event would accurately be called a “protest”; if it were taking place at, say, a bank or the U.S. Capitol. But when hundreds of loud and angry strangers are descending on your family, your children, and your home, a more apt description of this assemblage would be ‘mob.’
You tell ’em Nina!
“Nina, I heard HAMP was doing better at modifying loans lately. Is this something I should be concerned about?”
I wouldn’t be the least bit concerned, and here’s why…
First of all, you’d have to believe that the government’s program will actually continue to show improvement, and at this point, there’s very little evidence upon which to base that sort of assumption.
As of right now, there have been about the same number of homeowners kicked out of HAMP as have received permanent modifications, and don’t forget there are still more than 600,000 homeowners stuck in the purgatory that the government refers to as a “trial modification,” so look for at least a few hundred thousand more foreclosures there, for sure!
It really is an exciting time to be investing in the foreclosure industry in this country, and there’s no better way than through Nina Easton’s Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund.
Now, it is true that HAMP, as of June 1st, will start requiring homeowners to verify their incomes prior to being placed into a trial modification, and the early indications are that a much higher percentage of homeowners will ultimately be granted permanent modifications in future months as a result of this new requirement.
Big deal… The numbers of homeowners entering the program declined dramatically as soon as the servicers started asking for proof of income in advance of being granted a trial modification, so even if this does make HAMP incrementally better, it won’t come close to touching the more than 300,000 new foreclosures occurring each month in this country! How could you ask for better fundamentals than that?
And the best part is… you can still rely on the fact that HAMP is “VOLUNTARY” as far as the banks and servicers are concerned!
So, relax… you don’t think the banks and servicers are going to do anything to stop foreclosures, do you? Of course not! And it’s still… ALL UP TO THEM!
If there’s one thing you can depend on, it’s that the banks and servicers will continue to fuel the foreclosure industry’s growth, so with the government allowing the banks total discretion on all foreclosure decisions, investing in Nina Easton’s Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund is a safe bet and a sure winner. It’s like we’ve got Colonel Sanders guarding the chickens, if you know what I mean.
Barring some totally unforeseen change in the administration, like Paul Volker being taken seriously, Bernanke allowing us to audit the Fed, Tim Geithner turning on his banking buddies on Wall Street, or Liz Warren being given teeth, there’s no way Obama’s Making Home Affordable program is going to address the millions more homes that will be lost as a result of the foreclosure crisis.
And come on… I understand that past performance is no assurance of future results, but Volker taken seriously? Geithner turning on Wall Street? Liz Warren being given teeth? Bernanke letting anyone inside the Fed? HAHAHAHAHA… I know… anything can happen, but come on… it’s like thinking that maybe the banksters are going to wake up one morning afraid of Obama. Come on… you’re killing me… not in this lifetime, baby!
No, folks… the good news for our emerging foreclosure industry, and for Nina Easton’s new Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund, is that our government has failed at every single turn in trying to stem the tide of foreclosures in this country, and there’s no reason to believe they’re going to be any more competent in the future!
Some say that America has lost its leadership position in the world, but I don’t believe that for a second, and I think we’re already proving it with our clear dominance in the foreclosure industry. There’s no other country on the globe that has anywhere near as vibrant a foreclosure industry as we do here in the good old U.S.A.
We’re the dominant world leader in foreclosure production, and with nothing in place to stimulate economic growth, nothing even on the drawing board to reverse the trends in unemployment, and all of our money and then some going to prop up failed financial institutions that remain insolvent, how can anyone not think that we will maintain our leadership position as the foreclosure capital of the free world?
And don’t worry about all these pesky demonstrations by homeowners. Like Nina wrote in her blog last week about the unwashed masses that were demonstrating in front of her house, just because her neighbor works for some bank:
Waving signs denouncing bank ‘greed,’ hordes of invaders poured out of 14 school buses,” childishly putting “greed” in quotes as if referring to unicorns, hobbits, or some other imaginary entity.
Ooooh, snap! We love you Nina!
So, don’t miss out on the opportunity to go long on the promise of our government’s ongoing incompetence by investing in Nina Easton’s Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund today!
Disclaimer: Past incompetence is no assurance of continued ineptitude, or future ineffectiveness.
Don’t worry about not having any money left in your IRA or 401(k), many of our investors simply stop making mortgage payments and then invest those amounts in the fund each month. We even offer direct deposit, so you can just call your bank where your mortgage payments are automatically going now, and have them redirected to Nina Easton’s Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund!
It’s that simple! Why not start rooting for more foreclosures today?
Isn’t it time to get on the right side of this foreclosure crisis thing, by investing on the winning side! Sure you may lose a house or two, but so what? You’re so far underwater that the only difference between you and a renter is that a renter has more rights and can’t be evicted as quickly.
Besides with the money you’ll make investing in my new Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund, soon you’ll not only be able to buy the home across the street for half the price, you’ll be able to pay cash!
For more information, call:
Or send email to:
Operators are standing by to take your call.
The Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund is not registered with FINRA or the SIPC, but so what, neither are trillions in derivatives.
Although current personnel working for the administration can be counted on as entirely lacking in ability or skill, the Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund makes no assurances pertaining to the stupidity or utter uselessness of those who may work for the administration in the future.
In the event of an outbreak of competence in Washington D.C. investors should recognize that they could lose their investment in the Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund, although at this point, the FUND’s management believes that statistically this risk falls somewhere between the risk of shark attack in Indiana, and being killed by falling airplane parts while shopping at an indoor mall.
Empty Homes Hi-Yield Bond Fund
Your Ticket to Winning Our Nation’s Race to the Bottom
Fictional Securities Not Offered by Mandelman Matters. This, of course, was a joke. Except for the stuff at the top about the companies like Lender Processing Services… that stuff is real, and should make you want to throw up. Oh, and the stuff about Nina Easton was real too, and I can’t decide whether to ignore her, or write something about her every single day for the rest of my life.