Pardon Me… Can We Talk?

Okay, so I just got back from vacation… and I’m feeling particularly impish. ¬†So, I thought it might be a good time to bring up a couple of things that have been swirling around in my overly active and slightly distorted grey matter ever since I launched the new Mandelman Matters site design. ¬†There’s no point in beating around the bush here, as I know how much my readers love beating around bushes, so here goes:

1. The Subscribe Tab – You may not have noticed… or maybe you have, but included in my new blog design is a tab labeled “Subscribe”. ¬†Now, perhaps the intent behind this highly technical terminology may have escaped many of you, but the idea is that you… the readers… are actually supposed to “subscribe”. ¬†It’s free, by the way.


Subscribe to what? ¬†I hear you cry. ¬†Well, I don’t know exactly, but to start with there’s my Monthly Museletter, which is different from my other stuff in several ways. ¬†For one thing it’s shorter than anything else I write, which I’m sure quite a few of you will appreciate, as I can tend to be on the long-winded side. ¬†And for another, I’ve only just begun and since it’s a “Museletter” it’s meant to be inspiring, so who knows what I’ll be putting in there in the future. ¬†And, yes… it’s free, just so you’re aware.

I know what you’re thinking… you can get my Monthly Museletter without subscribing. ¬†Well, today you can. But soon, however, I’m only going to be sending it out to “subscribers,” so how’s that?

The thing is… it’s free and it only takes a couple of seconds to do it, and by “doing it” I mean actually subscribing… and I promise never to share your email address with anyone, unless of course someone offers me millions of dollars for it, in which case I’ll sell you down the river in a New York minute, but I’ll call you first and we can split 50/50. For that kind of dough you can just open a new gmail account, so get over it.

Okay, so what’s holding you back? ¬†Is it the cost?

I’d subscribe to your Monthly Museletter if it were free… and if it was at least reasonably interesting… and funny… it’d have to be at least marginally funny. And it would be really good if it helped me make a living. ¬†(Mine tries to do all of that, by the way.)

And did I mention that it’s free? ¬†So, click this link and “Subscribe” already.

2. The Niche Report – Okay, so most of you know already that I write for a magazine called “The Niche Report”. ¬†Just so you know, The Niche Report is a highly targeted mortgage finance trade magazine nationally circulated every month that reaches over 50,000 licensed mortgage brokers, loan officers and mortgage professionals.

Now, just like I might have mentioned in item #1 above, because it’s an actual ¬†magazine it involves “subscribing,” but it’s free subscribing once again, so it’s priced right… and it makes a lovely gift, by the way.

Now, I know several thousand of you already have subscribed, and many of you wrote very, very nice comments in the “Comments” box on the subscription form, which makes me look good and helps me get more cover stories… which I like… a lot… in case you were wondering.

In May I wrote the cover story… “Pigs, Puppets & People in Peril – The Administration’s Curious Campaign Against Loan Modification Firms,” and it was such a huge hit that the magazine offered me a monthly column which I call “Bringing Up the Rear“. ¬†It appears on the very last page each month… hence my use of the term “monthly” when describing the column, and each month I bring up a new “REAR”.

The first month’s REAR was Fed Chairman, Ben Bernanke. ¬†Then in July the REAR in question was FDIC Chair, Sheila Bair. ¬†And in August I couldn’t help but go after Edward L. Yingling, the President and CEO of the American Bankers Association, and a GIANT REAR in a world of fairly substantial sized REARS.

But wait… there’s even more. ¬†In July I wrote the cover story again, “Cuomo’s Crossing – An Outsider’s Appraisal of the New HVCC Rules”. ¬†HVCC stands for the Home Valuation Code of Conduct and among other things it cuts every appraiser’s pay in half, while it doubles the cost of appraisals for homebuyers. ¬†Pretty nifty, huh?

In August, I wrote a piece on the new Web 2.0 technologies, which I was first introduced to during a conversation about pedophiles. ¬†And in September I’m back for another cover story, this time on Bankruptcy Reform, which the banking lobby beat back twice, but is coming up in Congress again… and we really need to pass this time. ¬†Because… Bankruptcy Reform Means Lender Reform.

I’m doing yet another cover story in October that’s going to be about the Yield Spread Premium and other stuff that’s important to the future of mortgage brokers. ¬†And, if you can stand it… I’ve been offered the December cover story too! ¬†And that’s where you’ll find my annual holiday poem, “Twas the Night Before Christmas – 2009, A Political Year in Review,” which has been an annual holiday favorite for years now. ¬†(My wife’s a little tired of it, and my daughter rolls her eyes, but that’s another story and you shouldn’t let it spoil it for you.)

Okay, back to the whole subscribing thing… it’s easy… only takes a minute or two… and it’s free! ¬†It’s the trifecta of closing arguments, don’t you think?

So, just click here: And before you know it the subscription form will pop up right in the middle of your screen… POP! ¬†Then you just spend about a minute filling in your mailing address and bang-zoom… next thing you know you’ll be receiving your very own copy of The Niche Report in the mail each and every month!

And… although it’s certainly not required, while you’re filling out the subscription form… if the spirit moves you, you could consider mentioning how much you enjoy reading my columns… nothing too schmaltzy or over the top, mind you… maybe something like: “He’s the Hemingway of our age”. ¬†You get the idea.

Don’t put it off… click the link above, damn it.

3. – I know most of my readers read ML-Implode, it’s the industry’s leading news site for the mortgage industry and much more. ¬†The ML-Implode site has so much on it that if you started now, you’d get to all of it sometime in 2075, if you’re a zippy reader, that is. ¬†I’m not kidding, ML-Implode has something north of 150,000 pages of really important and cutting edge content.

When it comes to the mortgage industry, the real estate industry, the banking industry, the appraisal industry… the economy in general… well, it makes Wikipedia look like an index card, for heaven’s sake. ¬†Not only that, but the “Forums” by themselves are unbelievable. ¬†If you want to watch or engage in discussions with some of the smartest people in the country, check out the forums on ML-Implode… if you can think of the subject, chances are they’ve already got a forum going about it.

Now, here’s the deal about ML-Implode that I think my readers should know and think about:¬†ML-Implode has a Google page rank that’s so high that advertisers have been known to get nose bleeds. And as far as traffic goes, fuggetaboutit. ¬†ML-Implode’s forgotten more about traffic than other sites have ever even thought about. ¬†And did you mention “targeted”? ¬†ML-Implode practically invented “targeted”. ¬†Look up “targeted” in the dictionary, and there’s a picture of ML-Implode.

So, wait… what’s my point? ¬†Oh yeah, I remember… if you want to make your advertising more effective, you should be advertising on ML-Implode… for sure. ¬†And how’s this for a little icing on the cake: Since you’re reading this on Mandelman Matters, I could potentially even write your ad for you at no additional cost! ¬†(Or at an exorbitant additional cost… if you’re A¬†BANK.)

Okay, so click here and find out more about how you can use the power of ML-Implode to drive your marketing efforts… well no, not back there… I meant¬†HERE¬†on ML-Implode!

So, alrighty then… that about covers it. ¬†And I don’t know about you, but I for one feel much better getting all that off my chest like that. ¬†Thanks for reading it. ¬†I owe you one. ¬†So… call me if you ever want to talk about whatever. ¬†I think I’ll go lie down now.

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